Memories have cobwebs too!!

I may ramble a bit, please forgive. I have been contemplating several things recently, and have been having difficulty putting my arms around them. I deliver some thoughts to you, in kind of a fragmented jumble of stuff. Perhaps, combined, they will bring something of worth.

- I was a student body officer at one of the colleges I attended. I was heavily involved in a lot of goings-on of the college. I doubt that I performed to the level I was capable of, but I did what I did and that is that. I had a lot of fun, knew many people, and I am so grateful for the things I learned and experienced. On the last day of school, after graduation commencement, and before I turned in my keys, a friend of mine and a couple of other student body officers met in the council office to pick up the remaining things in our desks. I sat in my chair and looked out the window across what was then the heart of the campus. I wave of nausea and sadness waved across me as I realized that I was moments away from the end of this wonderful experience. As my eyes began to tear up, I verbalized my thoughts to my companions. "I can't believe that this is over. This year, most everybody here knew who we were and knew our names. This summer, we (I) will be remembered as fellow students contemplate the year and look back at the yearbook, photos and remember experiences to which their lives revolved. Summer will turn to fall, and jobs, weddings, a new school year will envelope their thoughts. Only a few will actively think of us, our closest of friends. Then, as the clock ticks ever so quickly, our names and then our faces will fade from their thoughts, and nestle themselves into the cobwebs of seldom used memories."

- Today I was watching the movie "You Got Mail" with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. [spoiler if you haven't seen the movie] I reflected my own life as Meg's character reflected her's, as she closed up her bookstore for the very last time. Retrieving the bell from the top of the door, she turned toward the empty store and visioned her memory of her mother dancing with her in the now darkening room. Pulling the door closed, she walked silently down the cold street, with the door bell tinkling almost silently as she walked.

- The church I attended while I grew up has long been torn down, replaced with a new city building. The chapel where we worshiped, the stage where we performed, the court where basketball and dances were held. The boy scouting, the meetings, the prayers, the gatherings are all contained now in a few photographs and a string of seldom used memories. The Student Council room is gone, an empty grassy area now remains, waiting for a future project to be build on that spot. The adjacent "old" gym where I first danced with my wife to be is no longer. The theater building where we gathered to view fellow students perform, and where even I shared of myself in front of the others. So many things are gone, the places that used to be anchors to my memories have faded to join the quiet darkness of my past. Even I, with my fears of being forgotten, have also rendered many of my close friends to the dungeons of my memories.

Well, I'm going fishing. I have already kind of started over the past year. I have shared with you many of my more humorous (and embarrassing) moments. I will not share all of them with you, but I will give you some more. I plan on breaking down the doors of my memories and bringing them into the light. I cannot live in the past, because I have a lot to do in the present. Where possible I hope to send out a few "how ya doing?" and "been thinkin' about ya" messages. Perhaps it is a selfish way of making them think of me for a moment. But more correctly, it will be a way of thanking those who have touched my life so much. So that the names of memories from my past like Ross, Teresa, Kent, Brett, Sandra, Tony, Kelli, Kirk, Dave, Traci, Kevin, Lane, Buck, Leslie, Bob, Mary, Ruth, Dona, Bill, Jimmy, Sarah, and hundreds of others have a chance to breath again.

OK, so how silly was that?